Aqua's Problem
by Thing-Thing-Thing
Summary: In the final battle, Ventus learns something about Aqua that he did not need to know. This is obviously a crack fic that my friend requested.


"You've done it Ventus. Now that my body is about to perish, you and I will have to join together!" Vanitas stated as the mask that normally covered his face disappeared.

"Hehehehehe…"

The two boys then turned to see Aqua, who was currently believed to have been knocked into unconsciousness by Vanitas earlier, writing something down in a book while giggling madly to herself.

"Aqua!" Ventus shouted, having clearly been concerned over his friend who was incapacitated earlier.

"You should have at least been out until the fusion was over!" exclaimed Vanitas. "I didn't think you'd be up this soon!"

"One," as Aqua lifted up her index finger, "I'm awesome and I've knocked you out before in our last battle." "And two," as Aqua then lifted up her middle finger, "There's no way I'd miss an opportunity like this."

"Aqua, he's trying to fuse with me to make the χ-blade," Ventus said. "If it's made, there's no telling what will happen!"

"Ven, come with me," Aqua told Ventus. "There's something that you're now old enough to know."

"Don't ignore me bitch!" Vanitas exclaimed as he began to summon Unversed from his body.

"_Sleep_!" Aqua said as she cast the spell that put the Unversed and their master to sleep. "Now Ven, there's going to be a time and a place when another male will want to become one with you and it turns out that it is now."

"I don't understand what you're saying Aqua," stated Ventus. "And what was that book that you were writing down in earlier?"

Aqua then positioned her book for Ventus to see, which the latter saw was titled _Aqua's Book of Male Shipping. _

"…I'm confused," Ventus said with a look of utter confusion on his face.

"Ven, you remember that Terra and I grew up at Master Eraqus's home correct?" asked Aqua. "And that you came to live with us 4 years ago?"

Ven could only respond with a nod.

"Well, a little after that, I began my own little hobby as you and Terra were always practicing with your Keyblades." Aqua's smile started to get wider. "At first was very small and subtle, but then it began to rapidly pick up pace as the years went by. I started doing it more and more after we all started to go into the outside worlds!"

"What did you do Aqua?" Ventus asked.

"I started shipping, lots and lots." Aqua said with an evil grin that could rival even Xehanort.

"But what is shipping?" Ventus said as he started to get more confused.

"Well," Aqua began to think how she could explain this to Ventus without breaking his mind. "Shipping involves when person takes two people and interprets their interactions in a way so that it seems that they have a romantic or sexual relationships. Trust me, when shipping happens, things can get really active. I just couldn't believe it when you actually knew that masked boy. And to think that you two knew each other to the point of becoming one!"

"What?" was the only reply that Ventus could give.

"I just couldn't help myself!" Aqua yelled. "There are so many good pairings! You should have seen the two boys that were on the island that I visited just a while ago."

As Aqua began rambling on about her ships, Ventus started to convulse as the entire image and perception of Aqua that he built up for four years had shattered due to the contrast between his version and the reality in front of him. He started to foam at the mouth and then dropped straight to the form until the convulsing stopped. Aqua seemed to not notice when he passed out as she was still talking about her ship-related ideas.

"Oh right!" Aqua was starting to get back on track. "So I want you to become one with that boy so that my ship can be even more validated."

However, when Aqua turned to where Vanitas was previously, he was gone along with the Unversed that he summoned.

"Oh right," Aqua said as she was remembering what he said earlier. "He did say that his body was about to perish. I guess that he died while he was asleep."

Ventus was still asleep on the ground. It appears that he wasn't going to wake up and if he did, it was going to be a long time before he did.

"We have to help Terra!" yelled Aqua as she began to transform her Keyblade for transportation. "If anything happens to him, all of my ships involving him will be invalidated!"


End file.
